I made a Tiktok recently that got some interesting comments… watch it here.
Some people loved the video and its message, others less so. More or less, people did not like the tone and bluntness I used and felt that I should have been more empathetic and compassionate. Another 1 or 2 individuals came at me in typical internet police fashion and called me an ableist. At this point in my social media career, I have been called just about every kind of ‘ist’ word you can think of.
Usually, because someone disagrees with what I am saying, and instead of having a coherent discussion, people resort to name calling. Anyways that is a different blog for a different day. Today I want to elaborate on my message from that video and give you the reality of the situation.
So what were you trying to say?
The main takeaways were that weight-loss and management are hard as f*ck. Hell, life itself is f*cking hard, and if you have goals or things you want to achieve, no one is simply going to hand them to you. One would think that getting everything we want would make us all happy. That our world would be a wonderful utopia where it is always summer, you can eat whatever you want and not gain weight, and your sh*t smells like roses. Unfortunately, that is not reality.
In fact, no one would actually be happy; we would all be ungrateful and entitled a*sholes, more so than we currently are, and to pass the time, we would be flinging rose-smelling turds at each other.
You see, I believe the purpose of life is to continually strive to overcome life’s challenges. To continually solve problems, if you will. To create better problems and not just have our problems solved for us.
How do I overcome weight management issues DURING and AFTER losing weight?
Reaching your goal weight? Well, you solved the problem of losing weight; however, you now have the new problem of maintaining your weight. Solving most of life’s problems doesn’t just happen overnight. Most of the time, it involves solving several micro problems every day that collectively lead to solving your bigger problem.
This solving of micro problems is a process. It requires you to try something and see if it works – if it does, fan-f*cking-tastic; if it doesn’t, you go back to the drawing board and try to figure out a new strategy to try. This process is then repeated over and over and over again.
I know what you are thinking – ‘that sounds f*cking miserable. How can this be the meaning of life?’. Fair question, and no doubt, it can be miserable. Failing sucks, but at the same time, this is where we derive our purpose in life. This is where we create our fulfillment and joy in life.
Think about any challenge or barrier you have ever overcome. Do you regret persevering? Do you regret accomplishing your goal? Of course not. In fact, you likely feel a great deal of pride and satisfaction towards yourself because you didn’t quit. You didn’t give up. You kept going despite the challenges.
But why does getting to the rewards have to be so hard?
Let’s elaborate on a more detailed example.
If you have children, I want you to think of them. If you are childless like me, think about someone else’s kid you know. Now think about that child learning to walk. Usually, it involves them trying to stand up under their own power. Taking a step or two then falling down with possible tears that follow.
Now, after falling down that first time, does that child say, ‘welp, I tried. I guess I’m just not meant to walk.’ Of course not. Tears or not, they get up and try again, and again, and again. Until they become an annoying bipedal adult like the rest of us.
If you happen to be a parent, you can think about the process of raising said child. Think of the times you might have been mad or frustrated with your children.
I do not have kids, but I think back to my own childhood, and while I was generally a decent kid, I know there were plenty of times when I was a little sh*t, and I have no doubt I nearly pushed my mother over the edge a time or two. In fact, I think she actually had to start high blood pressure medication at one point, and coincidentally she was able to stop said medication after my brother and I moved out. No correlation, I am sure.
So you were a hellion child only some of the time?
The point I am trying to make here is that being a parent is hard, and growing up is hard. BUT, think about all the incredible moments you had as a parent when your child took those first steps. Where they brought you their first drawing of a duck that actually looked like two moose enjoying each other’s company, if you know what I mean…
While there were moments of pain and suffering, there were also some of the most incredible and fulfilling moments of your life. Those moments make the pain and suffering worth it. Those moments are what make my friends say, “having children is so amazing,” as they look at me with bloodshot eyes and appear to be dead inside because they haven’t slept properly in the past two years.
Achieving any goal in life requires you to go through the process – the process of finding solutions to your problems and then finding solutions to your new problems. It requires you to put in the work, to put in the time, to sacrifice and delay gratification of more immediate rewards to reach the bigger picture.
Okay, weight-loss is a process. I need to enjoy the process!
Weight-loss and weight management are not easy, even with medications like Ozempic or Wegovy; it may be one of the most challenging journeys you embark on. You will have to work your ass off. You will have to watch others lose weight more quickly than you.
You will want to give up and quit.
A common mistake people make, and a potential reason they don’t achieve their goal is they fall in love with the idea of the result. ‘When I reach point X then I will be happy, then I will be more confident.’ The reality is, the people who are the most successful are the ones who fall in love with the process. They are prideful and grateful for themselves and what they have accomplished. That even when they wanted to stop, they didn’t.
The result, in the end, doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you put in the hard f*cking work and choose to keep going.
It will be hard, and it will be painful, but so is living an unfulfilling life. As cliche as it is, choose your hard. Choose your pain.
As always, my friends remember that small tweaks lead to massive peaks.
– Dr. Dan
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